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Acting Classes and One Minute Monologues

A dear friend, wonderfully accomplished actor, and renowned and revered acting teacher, George DiCenzo, invited me to attend his acting class.  I felt compelled to write about. 

Unbeknownst to his students, I, (along with several other actors auditing the class), was invited to see each of his students perform a 1-minute monologue.  The students were not told anything in advance, as a sort of ‘test’ to see how they would perform in this ‘pressurized’ situation (the situation being the attendance of a Casting Director and an ‘audience’ of other actors).

It was The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The evening began with the news that other industry professionals, were invited and just didn’t bother to attend, after promising to do so.  If I’ve learned anything over the past 25 years, it’s how to give back.  Actors, (and the hardworking professionals who train them) depend on us, (Casting Directors, Agents, Managers).  I, too, neglected to follow through on a promise to invite a colleague to join me and for that I am deeply sorry (especially after seeing how apathetic my colleagues were about fulfilling their promise).

Now to the work itself:

The first gentleman was older and clearly American.  Yet he chose a piece that required him to speak in what, I think, was a Italian accent.  It could have been German.  I’m not sure.  About accents:  WHY? Who is going to hire you to play an Italian (or a German or any other nationality for that matter), when there are plenty of actors with US Passports or Green Cards or H1’s of O1’s with REAL Italian (or German) accents that we would hire long before an American speaking with a really bad foreign accent?  Audition with your normal speaking voice.  Period. End of story.  This same gentleman also used some of his time to sing.  SING?  Singing has nothing to do with 1-minute monologues.  Leave singing to musical auditions when asked of you.  He used more than the allotted time and was asked to stop by the teacher.  As it should be.  1-minute is 1-minute.  Especially when there are 15 other actors waiting.

The next actor seemed incredibly inexperienced, nervous, and awkward.  He delivered his piece standing in stiff, frozen, ‘poses.’  I would have suggested he just SIT DOWN! Quote me:  ”The chair is your friend.”  Use it.

The next was a spectacular older woman!  Her work was lovely. So real.  My only criticism was its’ ‘size’…at times a bit too ‘theatrical’ and ‘broad.’  Actors tend to ‘overwork’ their auditions.  Don’t push.  Don’t force.  No need to ‘swing for the fences.’  A base hit is all that’s expected of you! Right?  Just get on base.

The next woman arrived on stage (each actor came in from outside the room and left after their piece ended), with a cigarette in a rather long cigarette holder.  It was the only thing  I remember about the audition.  It was that distracting.  Bottom line:  Props can be dangerous.  Skip ‘em.

The next young man, Robert, was a wonderful actor.  Great concentration, great focus.  He, too, chose to work with an accent but it was so spot-on it wasn’t the slightest bit distracting.  Hence: there’s an exception to every rule.  Still would have preferred to see him do something in his own voice.

The next young woman chose to direct her entire piece to a ‘single listener’ (a fixed point on the far side of the room, sort of above our heads).  I have alway found this to be unsettling.  No one speaks to anyone without shifting your focus elsewhere (like a cuticle? a car backfiring out the window? a cockroach walking by?).  Make sure that if you aren’t playing the real listeners in the room, you remember to shift your focus AWAY from the single listening spot every now and again.  

The next gal was spot-on!  Kate Hodge.  Looks great.  Sounds great.  Confident without being cocky.  Self assured without being self-possessed.  The shortest sweetest monologue of the night.  Real, honest, and FUNNY!  Great body language!  About the length of the audition:  we know in seconds if we care or not.  All the rest after that is overkill.  As they say in musical auditions: “1/2 the song, 1/2 the dance, and OUT!” Good rule.

The next actress was the first to hit one of my ‘peeves.’  She chose a ‘you’ monologue. This is one where the unseen ‘scene partner’ is the focus of the piece.  ’You’ did this to me,’ ‘You did that to me,’ ‘I hate you,’ ‘It’s all your fault.’  YOU YOU YOU YOU!  Actors often ask if we, the listeners, want to be addressed directly.  Some of us say ‘yes,’ others ‘no.’  I say ‘yes,’ but hate it when I’m suddenly the reason the auditioner is speaking!  Who am I? What did I do?  Why am I being addressed so hostilely, so accusatorially?  Not the best way to win friends and influence people.  Stick with ‘I’ monologues. ‘I remember when I was a little boy/girl,’  ’I was in the park and saw an old friend,’ ‘I tell myself over and over how strong I am.’  The next actress did a similar ‘you’ monologue.  Only in her piece she told me to ‘fuck off,’ and ‘kissing you makes me sick’!  WOW!  Harsh.  The next actress ALSO did a ‘you’ monologue. By then I was completely distracted and cannot remember anything she said.

The next fellow was an actor named Michael. Great work! Sat in a chair and just told me a story.  A simple, honest, truthful, REAL story.  Sounded like it had happened to him.  Not some character he was enacting.  Great body language too!  Seemed so at home.  Not the slightest bit self conscious or self-aware.

The next broad was great!  And I say broad, because it is her stock in trade!  Low to the ground with a great GREAT speaking voice.  Raspy and gravelly!  Only comment was that she overdid it!  IF IT AIN’T BROKE DON’T FIX IT!  It’s called GILDING THE LILY.

1. To adorn unnecessarily something already beautiful.2. To make superfluous additions to what is already complete.
The next young woman did a very emotional monologue.  These are always dangerous to attempt especially when you’re not ‘feeling it’ that day.  They always seem forced and pushed.  Sometimes just simply saying the words without worrying about the scripted crying is enough to convey the deepness of the emotion.  If you’re blessed with the ‘Meryl Streep Gene’ do these kinds of pieces.  Otherwise, stick to easier fare.
The only thing I remember about the boyishly handsome next actor was his swaying. Again, SIT!  Immediately absolves you of this concern. 
The last fellow managed to provide another of my peeves.  A monologue about acting.  NO NO PLEASE PLEASE NO!  On top of which it was delivered to big, to broadly, too theatrical.
A One-Minute Monologue should be nothing more than a moving snapshot of who you are.  As close to who you REALLY are as possible.  Not some circus act.  Not some freak show.  Not some foreigner if you’re American.  Not some hostile accusatory meanie yelling at me.  Just YOU.  I.  I am THIS.  What you see is what you get.  Take it or leave it.  Preferably TAKE IT!
I cannot stress the importance of on-going scene study classwork for actors.  It gives you the chance to keep your instrument in tune.  It gives you the opportunity to see other actors work and learn from it (sometimes what NOT to do!).  
Beg, borrow, or steal to pay to study with George DiCenzo before he raises his prices!
FIN